Words You Need to Ditch Right Away

life, matters of the heart

What you see in the mirror always seems to be inferior – even on your best day… Perhaps you are this woman. If so, keep reading…

There are many words that we can use to describe ourselves. What we say has a significant impact – more than we sometimes realize.

 Proverbs 18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue,

And those who love it will eat its fruit.

For instance, when someone informs me that a certain thing can’t possibly happen for them, I cringe a little because I know that this short four letter word – can’t –  is setting the tone for their next steps if they’re not careful. I absolutely believe in the sovereignty of God as his ways and timing for our existence are in his hands. However, I know that any one of our days has the potential to move beyond the “can’t” word of our speech.

four woman at the conference room

Consider the following biblical passage:

Luke 13: 10-17 English Standard Version (ESV)

A Woman with a Disabling Spirit

10 Now Jesus was teaching in one of the synagogues on the Sabbath. 11 And behold, there was a woman who had a disabling spirit for eighteen years. She was bent over and could not fully straighten herself. 12 When Jesus saw her, he called her over and said to her, “Woman, you are freed from your disability.” 13 And he laid his hands on her, and immediately she was made straight, and she glorified God. 14 But the ruler of the synagogue, indignant because Jesus had healed on the Sabbath, said to the people, “There are six days in which work ought to be done. Come on those days and be healed, and not on the Sabbath day.” 15 Then the Lord answered him, “You hypocrites! Does not each of you on the Sabbath untie his ox or his donkey from the manger and lead it away to water it? 16 And ought not this woman, a daughter of Abraham whom Satan bound for eighteen years, be loosed from this bond on the Sabbath day?” 17 As he said these things, all his adversaries were put to shame, and all the people rejoiced at all the glorious things that were done by him.

What if this particular woman had believed the “can’t” of her life?

  • I can’t go to the synagogue because people might criticize me.
  • I can’t expect anything different than what has already been happening over and over again.
  • I can’t believe any other words besides the negative words around me.
  • I can’t receive healing from Jesus.

That last “can’t” is tragic in itself. What if the woman hadn’t made her way to Jesus’ path (disability and all) when he invited her into his presence?

I’m intrigued with her ability to think beyond the “can’t” of her life. Her tenacity brought a revival in more ways than one:

  • Not only is her physical body revived but her spiritual self is renewed as she glorified God publicly and out in the open. #Revival
  • The usual dynamics of the synagogue and the leader’s rules are challenged by Jesus who is called to set the captive free on any day that is deemed fit by God, heaven, and the perfect will of the One who created time. #Revival
  • God is glorified in an environment where 18 years of suffering is transformed into a testimony of the goodness of a King who seeks and saves his own. #Revival

What “can’t” are you facing at the moment? How can you give it to God and allow him to handle it in his way, timing, and purpose? Is it possible to say – “I can’t, but I know a God who can?“

Life has a way of presenting “the impossible” – which gives us unique opportunities to put some faith-fueled vocabulary and phrases into practice:

  1. I feel weak, but my God is strong and working through me.
  2. I’ve been waiting awhile, but God’s grace is sufficient.
  3. I want to give up, but his love carries me day by day, moment by moment.
  4. This situation is out of control, but God holds my hand through it all.
  5. I’m just hanging on, but my hope is in the One who gives me life – forever.

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#DitchCant #SayGodCan #AccordingToHisWillWayTiming
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Let’s Be Honest…

life, matters of the heart

#Life #MattersOfTheHeart

Life has a way of presenting circumstances that are painful and sometimes quite traumatic. The fallen state of this world and humanity places us in vulnerable positions of being affected by a society filled with crime, abuse, mistreatment, poverty, war, disease, hunger, and so much more. Additionally, relationships and families are a target for brokenness as all of the previously mentioned tragedies can impact people spiritually, emotionally, and mentally.

Sometimes hope is lost in God and people. #LetsBeHonest

The painful existence of wounds of the heart and mind – trauma – is more common than we can imagine as the “after shock + effects” may be clearly seen when we encounter a perpetually angry/rude and troubled co-worker, a defiant child, or difficult family member who seems to always want to argue. We don’t have to look very far to identify the traumatized. Truthfully, the trauma may even lie in our very own hearts.

adult black and white darkness face

The months of April and May (2019) have taught me even more as a Bible Teacher and Trauma Healing Group Facilitator that pain should not be “hidden” – it’s not natural nor biblical. As I recently had the privilege of facilitating at Transformation Church of Trenton, New Jersey – it was a beautiful lesson and reminder for us all that we will suffer in some capacity – but we do not have to “package it” as a weight to be carried.

How can we be more honest about our pain and trauma?

  • Talk to God like we’ve never done before. This is good. This is biblical. A sizable portion of the Psalms were written by folks who were having a hard time in life and needed an outlet for their pain. God was the one they turned to when they couldn’t even turn to anyone else.
  • Speak with a trusted friend, leader, or mentor who is aware of the skill of listening. Listening is a skill and a great listener will ask the right questions, give constructive feedback, maintain privacy, and not be quick to judge your pain as insignificant, a sign of weakness, or an inconvenience to their schedule. The more times you share with a trusted and skilled listener, the easier it becomes to process your painful circumstances.
  • Seek professional services. Some cultural beliefs would have us view professional help as a lack of trust in God himself. This is certainly not true. Proverbs 11:14 states:

King James Version
Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellers there is safety.

Darby Bible Translation
Where no advice is, the people fall; but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.

World English Bible
Where there is no wise guidance, the nation falls, but in the multitude of counselors there is victory.

#LetsBeHonest

How have you had to be more honest about your pain? Has addressing it been more helpful? How do you feel about the concept of “skilled listening” when seeking help?

photography of women talking to each other